Emotions And Moods – Evaluating Emotional Intelligence

Evaluation of Darren and Mathew’s emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is defined as one’s ability to recognize and understand his/her and how they affect those around him/her. Emotional intelligence also involves being conscious of other people’s emptions, understanding them, and being capable of maintaining healthy relationships (Boyatzis & Goleman, 2000).

Person B, Darren, is a good listener. He always seems to know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it no matter the situation. Darren rarely say things that offend others and even though he might not have a solution to a person’s problems, one feels better by just talking to him and he/she leaves with a positive outlook. Darren is also very good at managing his emotions.He rarely gets angry even when subjected to stressful conditions and he posses the ability to calmly evaluate a problem and find a solution. Other than being a good decision maker, Darrenalso takes constructive criticism positively and knows how and when to use it in order to improve his performance. Darren can thus be said to have a high degree of emotional intelligence.

Person A, Mathew, on the other hand has low emotional intelligence. He is not a good listener as he easily gets agitated and he is occasionally insensitive to others. Mathew also does not always manage his emotions effectively. He usually gets anxious when faced with a stressful situation, and he easily gets angry. He also had a tendency of interpreting normal situations as hostile and he would perceive minor challenges as impossible. Mathew does not take criticism well, which has greatly affected his progress both professionally and socially.

In this paper, I will use the he five-element framework that was developed by Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, to evaluate Darren and Mathew’s emotional intelligence (Boyatzis & Goleman, 2000).

  1. Self-Awareness

Darren is self-aware but Mathew is not. A self-aware person understands his/her emotions and thus he/she can control them effectively (Boyatzis & Goleman, 2000).Darren is confident and he never lets his emotions get out of control. A self-aware person is usually willing to perform an honest self-analysis and they take criticism positively like Darren does. Finally, a full self aware he is aware individual knows their strengths and weaknesses, and works towards doing better.

  1. Self-Regulation

Darren has self-regulation while Mathew does not. Self-regulation is one’s capacity to control his/her emotions as well as his/her impulses (Boyatzis & Goleman, 2000).  People who self-regulate, such as Darren,habitually do not allow negative emotions such as anger or jealousy, to overcome them and they do not make decisions based on impulses either. Instead, such people evaluate all their decisions carefully before they act. Darren possesses characteristics that go with self-regulation that Mathew does not including thoughtfulness, integrity, ability to embrace change,  and the ability to disagree or say no to requests that he cannot meet.

  1. Motivation

Both Darren and Mathew are motivated, however, Darren has a higher level of motivation. Darren is always willing to postpone immediate results in order to achieve long-term success, which is not the case with Mathew who is only willing to do so occasionally. Darren perceives challenges as an opportunity to improve, he is highly productive, and is generally effective in his undertakings.

  1. Empathy

Darren has is capable of understandingand identifying with other people’s needs and viewpoints of others. This trait is referred to as empathy (Boyatzis & Goleman, 2000). Mathew on the other hand does not fully understand his needs, especially emotional needs, and thus he struggles with understanding those of others. Darren recognizes other people’s feelings, including those that are not obvious, which makes him good at managing relationships. On the centrally, Mathew is usually quick at judging, which makes it hard for him to listen openly and understand another person’s viewpoint.

  1. Social Skills

Darren easily talks to people and he is likable which is a sign of high social skills. Mathew on the other hand finds it difficult to talk to new people and in some occasions, the ones he already knows as well. Darren is a team player is committed to helping others grow. He is also a good communicator and is good at managing disputes. Unlike Mathew, Darren has the ability to develop and maintain healthy relationships.

A time during my career when I felt your manager was putting me under extreme emotional labor.

Emotional labor is when a job dictates how an employee handles his/her emotions (Brotheridge & Grandey, 2002).

A few years back, I was working as a customer service assistant in a retail shop. One day, a customer approached me and complained about a product they had purchased earlier, which she claimed was faulty. The shop’s policy indicated that a product could be accepted back for repair, refunded or exchanged but only if the customer presented a prove of purchase such as a receipt. Since the customer in question did not have the receipt, I explained that the store could not accept the product and asked her to come back once she got it. The customer started complaining about the service provided, and asked to see the manager. The customer explained what had happened to the manager, leaving out the parts where I had explained the reason I could not issue a refund. The manager called me incompetent and stupid and issued the refund. I had to be professional so I accepted that I was on the wrong, even though I knew I was not, and apologized to the customer for the inconveniences that might have caused.


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